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MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR...... [30 Nov 2003|02:42pm]
My goodness, I have neglected this task for a few WEEKS - must be taking after my children ::wink wink::

But, there is indeed much to be thankful for.....
we got thru our respective birthdays without mishap, and with WAY too much cake and ice cream, if that is at all possible.....Dianne got home early, which was a bit of a pleasant surprise, and without a ticket - yahoo!!....we lived thru the Craft Show and will most likely live to serve another year....we had a lovely Thanksgiving Day dinner with Aunt Jo and Uncle Charles in the country with all our "older" family who are all healthy and active and just so much FUN.....we had an entire week of our own family activities without alot of interruption which was unusual and NEEDED....and now today has dawned with that beautiful, crisp feeling and light that only fall can provide. Dianne is on her way back to AU, Caroline is at church preparing to sing 3 Christmas Concerts this evening, and I am pondering the magnificence that is family and life and love. Yes, much to be thankful for.

It is funny to me how times like this past week almost always cause me to reflect on what IS. It's not really a melancholy feeling, just more of a wondering what IF..... There has been alot of JUNK happening with us this Fall, and, as usual, I wonder if there could have been a way to have made it easier for, most especially, my girls. I'm wondering if I had encouraged them differently when they were little, if life would be easier for them now. I have always thought that teaching our children to be the best possible kind of person was the right thing to do. They have not disappointed me - they are indeed the best possible kinds of people. At least for OTHER folks, they are, but what about themselves?? Was it wrong to teach them that we should love unconditionally, and be kind ALWAYS?? To always turn the other cheek and consider other people's feelings before our own....to take people at face value and not play head games....to be kind and generous......to forgive always and not stand in judgment?? Was that helping them to be strong or did it make them weak? I'm afraid it left them with no capacity for anger. They do not get angry when injustice rears it's ugly head at them - they only get HURT. If I had been less insistent that they be so all-fired forgiving and understanding, would they be happier or healthier?? Would it be harder for people to turn them into human doormats if I had taught them a path of more resistance? Or would it just have made them like the people who step on them?? I don't have these answers, and I doubt those of you who read this do either. But it does feel good to just get it out of me.....so much for venting or ventilation as the case may be.

And, at any rate, I am so very grateful for my life as it is........and so, that's all for now, my buddies, because Christmas is coming, and after that there will be much more to ponder I'm sure..........
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HMMM.......... [11 Nov 2003|04:15pm]
[ mood | blah ]

Don't know what I want to say here...or if there's really anything TO say. Had a spectacular weekend - maybe that's the trouble - TOO much fun makes Teresa a dull girly. Who knows... At any rate the weekend WAS amazing - if you've never had the chance to cram 22 family members into one space and play and eat and just have fun with them, you have truly missed out. I wish Dianne and Caroline could have been there, but I am not getting my wishes these days. None of us Beard girls are, really. What is that about? Luck run out? That would be too bad! Could use some silver lining stuff, especially for the Caroline. Am I worried about her?? Maybe a bit. If she wasn't as mature as the average 30 something human, I would be......It's just more fun to see her HAPPY. That's it - we could use some serious HAPPY around here!

Birthdays will be abounding these next few days - Di on the 13th and Caroline on the 24th - eek!!! I hate it when I don't get to share birthdays with my girls = it's just not right - is it Dianne?? And Caroline will get her PERMIT in thirteen days - stay off the road! Actually, she's a pretty good driver - just seems weird to SAY it or hand her the KEYS - ya...

Playoff game this weekend - final trip on the band chaperon express - that's ok - could use the break :) But it HAS been fun, mostly. I really like the kids - for the most part, they are terrific...

And now, dinner is requesting to be prepared.....film at 11

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As Good As It's Getting.................. [04 Nov 2003|07:36am]
Good Grief - TOO much going on. Makes things range in and out of focus. I like the being busy part, but I don't like the fuzzy part. Like, I LOVE doing the chaperone thing, but not the lack of sleep part. Or the dirty house part. Or the messed up leg part. Or the putting up with the witchy woman who is the head chaperone part........

HOWEVER, the WINNING part is cooler than cool! The Marching Cougars won their class (AA) at Contest of Champions this weekend. OH MY GOD, we went completely nuts. Our field commanders weren't big enough to carry the dang trophy. And then there we were in the stands, supposed to be at attention, and when they announced us, now we have NEVER not stayed at attention for announcements - well, anyway we just broke into this mindbending scream that went on for 5 minutes. When we finally shut up, we had no idea who we'd be competing in the finals with! It was amazing, and SO fun. We took 1st out of 14 bands in our division. We only placed 10th overall, but it really didn't matter to us, cause for the first time, we actually got to stand on the podium at the finals. Caroline was in the hallway screaming at Dianne on the phone - everybody was laughing and crying - yeah, it was good.

On our personal front, Doug and I are headed to CT this weekend for his Dad's birthday. While I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone, I have mixed feelings about leaving Caroline behind. Her boyfriend broke up with her on Sunday, and happy is not happening with this little camper right now. Yeah, I know, it's all a part of life, but being the mother bear that I am, I just cannot stand seeing one of my cubs in pain. Her friends (and interestingly enough, HIS friends) have really rallied around her though, and she is strong - I know she'll be ok, it just hurts. It's like I told her, all that we experience just adds up to make us who we finally become - yeah, like she wants to hear THAT......

We are getting a new sofa delivered for the rec room today - that will open a can of worms. Painting, other stuff to be bought, shoving stuff around will ensue, but now that band season is over, that is probably ok. I'm taking bets that it won't get finished til Spring, though!
And my Mom will be coming to stay with Caroline while we're gone, so there is much cleaning and packing to get on with - so why am I sitting here doing this???? Dianne only THINKS she is the queen of procrastination....
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Discontent is a funny word..... [27 Oct 2003|11:28am]
[ mood | discontent ]

It is, isn't it?? It's somewhere between confused and depressed... maybe - who knows? Or maybe I just THINK too much.....or not enough.....? Could be just tired. Either way, I wish I didn't care......yeah. Emotion may not be all it's cracked up to be.

In the meantime, there is lurking laundry and floors demanding to be swept.

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It's Perfect!!!!!!!!! [24 Oct 2003|10:31am]
[ mood | excited ]

Oh Lord, I hope this weather is a good omen - it could not BE more perfect. Crisp, clear, skies of the most spectacular shade of blue, trees stirring in the gentle breeze dropping an occasional leaf of some brilliant color - GOD! I love it!! And I love getting out my sweaters and being chilly in the mornings and smelling the first fires in the night air, and well, just ALL of this FALL business!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I do really hope this perfectness IS an omen. We are heading off to Atlanta for the BOA competition this weekend. Competing against the most major players in a several state area, and ALL of our old nemesis'! Lately we've been losing to these same people by anywhere from 3/10's of a point to a point. Do you KNOW how frustrating THAT is????????? These kids could sure use miracle type activity this weekend. They deserve it. So, if any of you have some good karma built up that you'd like to donate to a worthy cause, well, don't let me get in the way......

And everybody needs to go to Dianne's site(I would send you there, but nobody ever trained me to actually DO lj, they just set me up and turned me loose - and I don't WANNA read about it, just show me dammit when you're home, DIANNE) ANYWAY, you need to go to her lj(moonbend) and see her pottery!!! It is amazing to me!! Of course, I am JUST her proud MOMMA!!

OK, must pack - have a magnificent weekend everyone!!

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Manic Monday.... [20 Oct 2003|10:51am]
[ mood | giddy ]

OK, so I have NO idea why, well, actually yes I do, but that's beside the point...anyway, I was online ordering some stuff for someone's birthday, and on the site there was one of those word jumble thingies - you know, like Mad Libs - where you fill in the nouns and the adjectives and stuff and then hit the button and it makes a sentence or a paragraph or writes a letter or something?? Anyway it puts it all together....well, I just have to ask if those things make anybody else laugh right out loud. I mean, I sat here and laughed til I cried.....I feel kind of silly, but anyway I LOVE those things. I am so darn funny, dangit.

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BLECH..... [17 Oct 2003|04:12pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]

Time for another Friday night football game, and I'm just not in the mood. Don't know why really - it's a beautiful, typical football kind of evening. Cool, and a little breezy - will probably need the blankie before it's all said and done....perfect, right? Just not in the mood..maybe it's because we have had a run of lousy luck on the field this year, maybe it's that i really don't care for HS football, maybe it's that we've got to be up at the butt crack of dawn tomorrow to go to yet one more competition. I think what I'd really rather be doing is going to a good movie with a giant bag/box of that nasty artery-clogging popcorn and some Milk Duds- or maybe one of Paul's megamoviethons would be fun - I've never done that, but I think I will before I die.....course I'll be the one you have to bail out of jail for it, cause that's how my luck runs....save up your bail money, Paul - it'll be all your fault for tempting me!!!

Anyway, it's off we go.......and the half time show will be good!

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Stretching the subject........... [14 Oct 2003|04:28pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Can somebody explain to me why I'm PAYING people to torture me??? Pushing, pulling, POKING my dang bruises - Here! lift this 50lb. weight with your bad leg.......Wah, wah wah......Tearfully, Ms. Whiner

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AHHHH....... [12 Oct 2003|04:17pm]
[ mood | content ]

It's been a really nice weekend - not too busy, not too quiet....just nice. Got Caroline off to the Slaughter House(not literally, thank you) and Doug and I took off for Pancho's. I would put their fajitas up against ANYBODY'S. Then being perfectly sated with all ingredients mexican, i.e. fajitas and margaritas(ain't espanol fun? all rhymmy and stuff) headed to Blockbuster for a movie or two. Wound up with Down with Love - Renee Zellweger --and I wasn't expecting much to be honest, but what i got was a blast to my very distant past......this movie is a hoot - total Doris Day /Rock Hudson spinoff, minus the really bad acting. The costuming is fabulous, and the hair will make you wet your pants. So that was just fun and pleasantly entertaining - the soundtrack is fun too.

Saturday brought band chaperoning with it. What a ridiculous day - we were playing (yes, on Saturday - don't ask ME why) this pathetic little school outside of Clarksville called Kenwood. We had more band members than they had fans.....um, yeah - woohoo....and it was hotter than forty hells, and we couldn't keep the damn guard out from under the bleachers cause it was hotter than 40 hells, and it was their homecoming, so we couldn't even PLAY our show at halftime, and the score at the half was 49-0.......hmmm......should we go home NOW??? Oh no, we had to stick it out for the whole freak show!! SO they put in our 9th string for the last half and we still scored twice more, and the chaperones joined the guard under the bleachers and we played whatever music struck our fancy and braided each others hair.......:YOU having fun yet??? Back on the buses for the HOUR AND A HALF back home - the day should be over by now, right??? No chance, baby!! It's only 5PM when we pull into school - the night is YAWNING before me.........blech.....too much heat, too many TD's, too many braids, etc......but we're good sports, so after Caroline toddled off to her boy's birthday bash, we tootled over to my friend Rhonda's.

Rhonda has a new grill - Honest to God, it's 7 feet long, stainless steel, has a rotisserie, and a warming drawer, and a 5 burner grilltop and a 2 burner gas stove for pots and pans, et.al.. Looks like a giant silver moose casket - cooks purty good though!!!

Sunday morning brought a trip to bruegger's - (yes, daddy we were "backsliding" - but we dropped Caroline off at church, so we will not go STRAIGHT to hell at least initially) MMMMMM....nothing better than coffee somebody else makes for you, I think, and then after snagging Caro on to Chinese buffett - god, i just KNOW I was Chinese in a previous life....3x's a day would barely be enough - YUM. Then on home to hear about Di's formal last nite. She promises more pics, but I thought she looked quite pretty - all soft and stuff. It was her "last" formal formal - awwww..........I am SUCH a mother.........NOW, for a nap, if there's time before dinner!! NICE WEEKEND..........

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dumb and dumbest........... [09 Oct 2003|07:29pm]
[ mood | STOOPID ]

Good Lord!@! Why didn't somebody TELL me that I was repeating repeating repeating myself????????? HOW many times can a person TALK about their calf muscles? Good Lord.......I can only attribute it to the drugs.........which were purty good ;)

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Hop-Along, I am........ [07 Oct 2003|12:17pm]
[ mood | content ]

Let's see..where to begin. How bout with "tag, you're it!" Yeah, the last words I heard before tearing not one but two of my calf muscles. Seems that the 12 year old brain is WAY ahead of the 50 year old body....hmmmmmm......SO, what could be better than physical therapy 3 times a week?? Let me check the list!! Could be worse.......much!

AND, Dianne has spoiled all my fun in telling the GUSTER tale!! Lordy it was a wild weekend......some might say a 92 mph weekend ::wink:: And I must concur with her about Caroline showing some serious character......what a kid!! Made us ALL proud!!

CHS took 3rd place at the Vanderbilt Marching Invitational, fondly known as VMI , or the show that Overton wins no matter how they march......bitter, me?? Nah!! Seriously, though, there were only 3/10ths of a point seperating the top 3 - that's amazing!! If our guard hadn't scored a 75, I think it's a given we would have run away with it. So yeah, the guard ain't what it used to be.....but there's always next year!! We have this weekend off, and I for one, could use it!!

Nothing else newsworthy to report for now, plus it's time for (woohoo!!) Physical Therapy - whee!!!!

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Fiddle-dee-de [29 Sep 2003|04:07pm]
[ mood | blah ]

OK, so Saturday one of the kids I love runs up and tags me and says, "you're it", and like a 3 year old I tear off after her........hmmmm......a doctor visit,several drugs of various descriptions, an MRI and 2 days and $1,700 later, I am informed I have a torn calf muscle. Yay!!!!! Something I've never had before, but would happily give away. Ya, so my right calf is exactly 3 inches bigger than the left for the moment - the good news is, I get to sit in my chair and be waited on until physical therapy starts on Wednesday - REALLY can't wait for that!!

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???? [28 Sep 2003|06:03pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Why is it that when our children aren't happy, we can't be either? The saying goes, "when mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"...now that's just not true - mama ain't happy when the face of one of the girls she loves looks like it has litte storm clouds rubbed on it.

Why is it that when you see people making mistakes, you aren't allowed to correct them, even tho it might ultimately make everybody happier? If correction is for the greater good, is it interferring?

Is Fate all it's cracked up to be?

IS there such a thing as Fate??

And the final question of the nite....why do I have so many questions?

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Where have I been? [23 Sep 2003|04:00pm]
SO, at the gentle prodding of others, I am returning to this beloved lj. Apparently I've been missing since Easter..wow...what the heck is that about???

Let's see, it's about one kiddo traveling all over the intercontinental US all summer; the other kiddo was working like a fiend; no vacation time; much yard work; chaperoning BAND CAMP(which is an entire post in and of itself!); getting Di back to AU and a new apt; getting Caroline settled into HS(great gasping horror of horrors!); working on every dang committee and volunteer group that asked me (god, i'm a sap); old friends; new friends; family from far away who came to call;family from nearby who always lighten our lives, and just LIFE. Sometimes busy is NOT always better.....sometimes it is!

But in general life is very good for all concerned, and therefore, for me.........my codependance on everyone being happy is insatiable and undeniable......could be worse!

I enjoy the actual writing part of this "journaling" thing - it's a good exercise for the old brain and just a good creative outlet...i may have missed it......
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Como se LLAMA??? [22 Apr 2003|07:57pm]
[ mood | amused ]

So, after church on Easter, we headed to Bell Buckle, i.e., the teeny tiny artist community my aunt and uncle live in. And my aunt has 5 donkeys and 3 new llamas!! Only one of the three llamas is male - his name is Bud. Bud is officially nuts. He SCAMPERS when he runs - it's hilarious - sorta like a Disney movie - Emporer's New Clothes and all that. Anyway, Caroline gives Bud a little straw, and he won't take his eyes off her. Kept leaning over the fence(which was barbed wire!) and making LIPS at her - REALLY!~ like wiggling his lips and whining. Uncle Charles was getting all freaked out because he was afraid Bud would jump over the fence to get to Caroline....but really it was more funny than anything. Oh, and llamas mate SITTING DOWN (don't ask ME, I haven't actually SEEN it) so, I told Caroline she was probably OK unless Bud sat down, at which point she should run for Alabama.........yeah, so that was the end of a lovely Easter Sunday with the Beards............yeah..................

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[ mood | productive ]

Well, Caroline is off to dance camp for the day and Wayfest for the nite, Doug is getting his hair cut, and I am momemtarily setting aside the inevitable. Something about this time of year makes me feel the need to purge..........it's like nest cleaning if I were a birdie returning from the South. This is a good thing for the local charity that I take everything to, but it's not necessarily a great thing for my family, as they are a band of renegade packrats. Ordinarily I would just clean out and go on about my own business, but they get all testy about having their "stuff" culled through. Can't say as I really blame them, but what I can't get across is that unless we're going to move to a bigger space,i.e. move to a bigger house, or NEVER bring in another thing, something has got to go! Besides, the orderliness of it all makes us ALL feel better...........really.............uh-huh, it does too! :P

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Gift???? [04 Apr 2003|01:23pm]
[ mood | amused ]

OK, so those of you who know us, know we have kitties. 2 to be exact. And to say that they have personality, really doesn't do them justice. First, there's Emma. Emma is a patch tubby - now I didn't make that up, that's actually what she is! Our vet said he's never seen another one. Emma is shaped like a light bulb - REALLY big in the bottom and a little tiny pea head(we think it's so small because she would let you rub it till it fell off;')) Emma is sweet and slow, and just about normal cat size(except for the bottom). She loves to be loved and will drive you crazy til you rub on her - ANYWHERE - she really is not particular. Oh, and she fetches - like a dog. But only pipe cleaners......which she also sings to in the middle of the nite, but that is another story altogether.

And then there's Pudge (short for Pudgemuffin). Pudge is Emma's baby boy - literally.....well, at least he was a little over 2 years ago. Now, he's all grown up. He's really a moose - HUGE cat, and ALL boy. He loves to hunt and jump and climb, and he's really rambunctious, like he will just ram into your legs instead of politely rubbing them. Pudge is very loud and smart - in other words, he knows how to get exactly what he wants, and he raises Cain if he doesn't get it. And while Emma is content to lounge around on anything soft or warm, Pudge is the proverbial jungle animal - he NEEDS to be outside most of the time. So we spend alot of time letting him in and out. And while Emma will eat nearly anything Pudge will turn his fine grey nose up at food until he starves to death if he doens't care for the taste (or is it the smell?).

Now in the Spring particularly, Pudge goes on long hunting trips, only to bring home his prizes. The usual prize of snake, bird, mole or vole is almost always displayed in the garage, which he must deem the appropriate place to alternately gross us out or scare us to death. A couple of nights ago however, we got a NEW kind of display.....

Doug and I were in the kitchen cleaning up after supper, and Pudge comes and literally flings himself on the back door. This was kind of unusual behaviour, as he usually just climbs his way up the screen door and hangs there till you let him in. But there he was BANGING away at the door. So Doug goes to let him in and he comes careening in and shoots past Doug and runs to the dining room.........all very strange behaviour, indeed. Needless to say, we had to investigate. Well, good old Pudge had brought his latest "prize" inside for apparent inspection. Cute little mouse, he was. Kind of DEAD, but not messy or anything. And Pudge is SO PROUD. He sits beside mouse and GRINS and just looks at us. And Doug is saying(kind of urgently, you understand), "Pudge, take your little mouse back outside.......c'mon, boy, pick him up and take him out!" Riiiiight, PICK HIM UP. I am hyterical, which is not lost on Pudge at all. HE is offended, and thinks we are unworthy and of course, refuses to remove his own roadkill. Matter of fact, he seems to think that if we aren't happy with this location, maybe he should just go to another for display purposes........SO, to make a relatively long story a little shorter, Doug winds up with Mr. Mouse in one hand and Pudge in the other, and he invited them both to go back outside. Pudge in digust and outrage over our dismissal of his gift, had dessert with Mr. Mouse like he was something magnificent from Baskin Robbins.....................to each his own, right? Or in this case, to Pudge his mouse, I guess.

Ah, Spring.........when varmints crawl out from under everywhere and we get to hunt them down and play with them till they croak , then eat them..................Purrrfect! ;)

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SPRING, GLORIOUS SPRING!!!!!!!!! [01 Apr 2003|11:20am]
[ mood | sneezy ]

Well, spring done sprung in Brentwood. Everything, and I mean positively everything is blooming simultaneously. I can't remember when or IF that's ever happened in my lifetime. Too weird.....but beautiful. PLUS, it means you can have all sorts of allergic reactions simultaneously as well - who knew?? Mother Nature on a hormone kick. Or, it''s an evil plot to destroy our sinuses and our immune systems, I'm sure..............OR it has been designed by the Kimberly Clark folks to ensure the solidarity of their stock - yeah, i'm sure that's it! Well, whatever the real reason, by siduses are kidding be. Nuf said.....

So, Dianne was in for part of Spring Break - YAY!! We really had fun when she wasn't working on her project or her paper. Her works too hard or maybe I should say her has too much work to do! We bought some clothes and some fun hair stuff(Di got hers cut quasi Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home AL) and went to see Chicago(yes, I know that's twice for me, thanks anyway ;)) Then of course, we had to go get the Chicago sound track, which has been playing NONSTOP for about 3 days now - and all that jazz.............Caroline went to South Carolina with a buddy of hers and got back for the weekend(also in time for Chicago), so I actually had a full brood for a couple of days. It was nice - I like that. But Monday dawned mighty quiet............and now we're all back in our respective places - and SOME of us are not sleeping, are we Di? Silly girl - good thing you have most of my genes.......

Laundry is calling............as for you, get out there and enjoy your Spring!!!!!!!!!

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EWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [24 Mar 2003|10:38am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

So, I thought live journaling was supposed to be about saying what was on your mind.....and FUN.........I'm not so sure this thing is a great idea, as being judgmental is just not my kind of thing. Once again I learn my lessons the hard way. Maturity is not always the be all to end all............@#**!@@!@!

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Command Performance [19 Mar 2003|10:38pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Did I miss the memo?? Has the commandment "Thou shalt not kill" been updated to Thou shalt kill when you think you might need to?? I'm just wondering..............WHY?

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